Somebody I have recently heard speak said that “young people” need to follow Daniel’s example and purpose in their hearts not to defile themselves (Daniel 1:8)—with drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.

While I agree with him, I also noticed that most of the people in the room were not “young people.” After he finished, I went to talk to him for a moment to explain that I knew people who were not “young,” in the sense that he had used it, but who still had not purposed in their hearts to be undefiled by these things. My statement was fairly subdued, “I know a woman who is nearly 50 and did not believe that there were any men left who would wait until marriage.”

His reaction was to bring the conversation to an end with “I’m glad that is not true. Have a good day.”

There were a few other things going on so he may have simply been distracted by them. My fear, though, is that we are not addressing what are now common situations in our culture. Whenever most people in the church hear a reference to sex, they clam up. They seem to think that this sort of conversation is beneath them or best left for counseling sessions.

I do not think that Christians can afford to behave that way. Yes, our speech should be chaste (and we should not use coarse jokes as others do), but our culture is saturated in sex. It is used in advertisements all over the place and is a heavy theme in some games. Most of what is on TV is mild compared to what happens every day in a lot of high schools. Even though I was not in public schools for most of my education, I’ve seen a lot of it.

Sometimes a passage from Paul is used as a reason to not say anything. Ephesians 5:11-12:

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.

It is a shame to speak of the things people do in private. But what about when those things are no longer secret? When they are flaunted? Our conversations should still have a very different tone than the one that everyone else uses. As I said before, we should not use coarse jokes. Somewhere, though, we need to address what is said and done.

I found this video shortly after it was uploaded by a Catholic priest and was pretty impressed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHefRh9H5bQ (~6 minutes)

He does a good job of handling the topic without going into more detail than is necessary. When reading the Old Testament, we find that there are several places where the entire law was read before all of the people of Israel who could be gathered. That meant all of the men, women and children. Joshua 8:34,35:

And afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessings and cursings, according to all that is written in the book of the law. There was not a word of all that Moses commanded, which Joshua read not before all the congregation of Israel, with the women, and the little ones, and the strangers that were conversant among them.

The same thing happened several other times, with various other men, after Israel (as a nation) had wandered away from God. The reason that I bring this up is that the words of the law contained descriptions of when men were not allowed to go in to their wives (Leviticus 20:18). Some sexual acts were governed by the law but it was worded in a way that children would understand it as their time came. We can be (and should be) sensitive about issues but I do not think we can be entirely quiet.

If people only hear emphasis on or the reasoning for one side, they become easy victims. Please don’t be afraid to search out why God demands abstinence—and commands marriage or death when it isn’t observed. People need to know why it makes even more sense than what everyone else seems to be doing.