This was my cheap shot at cheering up a friend. Thought it should be posted here for your enjoyment. Enjoy!

It.You don’t have to worry about the gender of random, inanimate objects.Police.Spanish equates a policewoman to a group of policemen. English gives you “One riot. One Texas ranger.”Love.Since it is obvious Spanish-speakers like to confuse also, why spoil the fun with “Amar”?Pez.I thought it was candy.Shoes.In English you can’t equate dying with hanging up your shoes on the power lines.Alphabet.How is “ll” a single letter?Prayer.In English, you pray to Jesus and no one thinks you’re talking to the guy next to you.You.It’s foolproof! In English you can’t call a complete stranger a good friend by accident.Suffixes.They’re so long that special rules have to be made. You shouldn’t say “el es extremadamente, sumamente, extremadamente grande.”Names.I would hate to be called Christino because my parents wanted a girl.Jerk.There is no good Spanish translation when you mean your friend.Dude.The word just sounds cool.