A friend posted a few interpretations of what guys say and what they often mean by it. In response, I’ve put this list together. Some of them aren’t my own ideas, but came from girl [space] friends of mine. Don’t take offense, and I hope you enjoy this little bit of fun being poked at girls.

(When asked what she’s thinking) “Nothing”
And what it means:
“I’m not about to tell you about even one of these things. Especially after what you did yesterday/last week/last month.”

(It’s 102 degrees and she says) “I’m cold”
It means:
“Put your arm around me… and you better smell good!”

“I have nothing to wear!”
Means:
“Everything in this closet is old” (See also “It’s a Girl Thing”)

“Does this dress/shirt/glove/etc. make me look fat?”
Means:
“I’m not asking for a yes or no answer. Make it good. Your life depends on it.”

“Go away”
Means:
“I’m building up steam”

“No, you’re wrong”
Means:
“My girlfriends will agree with me. I am a majority.” (See also “It’s a Girl Thing”)

“What is THAT?!”
Means:
You don’t really have to answer. She already knows.

“You aren’t listening to me!”
Means:
“I don’t care if you are listening or not. You don’t LOOK like you’re listening. And it doesn’t matter if this IS the last five minutes of that show. Look at me!”

*cries and pouts*
Means:
“I’m better at manipulating than you are”

“It’s a girl thing”
Means:
“All girls do it this way! How can you (lower life-forms) not know?”

“Where’s your sweater?”
Means:
“I want to wear it because it smells like you” -or, in the case of a mom,-
“I’m cold, and you’re going to wear that thing!” (A sweater is something your mother makes you wear when she’s feeling cold)

“What do you think about this new look?”
Means:
“I did it for you. You’d better like it OR ELSE!”

“Awwwwww! How CUTE!”
Means:
“I want one. Now.”

“I’m not emotional and I’m NOT overreacting!”
Means:
“Yes, I am”

“It’ll just be a minute!”
Means:
“Might as well go make something to eat. Dinner’s gonna be a little while”

“We’re only going shopping for XYZ”
Means:
“You have the whole rest of the afternoon free, right?”

“That’s not what I meant”
Means:
“The rules just changed yet again”

“Come here! Quick!”
Means:
“You’re in trouble!” -or, more commonly for me,-
“I just saw a spider”

“We need to talk”
Means:
“I need to complain” (OK, this one really means exactly what it sounds like, she doesn’t like a turn things have taken)

“Wow, what are the odds of both of us being here?”
Means:
“I’ve been planning this all day, possibly all week”

“It’s on sale!”
Means:
“I can save us enough, by buying what I normally wouldn’t, to avoid going broke”

“Which do you like more? The ivory or off-white?”
Means:
“Yes, there really is a difference”

*Stomps off* “Don’t follow me!”
Means:
“Unless you want to wake up next week in a ditch!”

EDIT: Special thanks to the girls who proof-read this, including one “majority” (see above). They helped to verify and even suggested improvements and new translations before the post.